Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Somewhat Amazed...

There's this thing that God does that I hardly ever "get". It always leaves me asking, "how did that happen again?" Its like I am surprised by His ability to make a significant difference in my life...I'm thinking to myself: "It can't be that easy? Surely, I need to DO more for life to be so different, so suddenly?"

Therein lies the deception - my life is about what I do - a subtle belief that my efforts must be in proportion to the level of grace that God will provide. Its more of a contractual state of mind.

Whereas (a contractual term itself...) God just wants my heart, mind and soul - not my puny efforts - and while I'm sure He's glad that some things have changed in how I am directing myself to Him its the decision to do so that makes the real difference - the desperation that leads to the cry of the heart. I had a God encounter involving my crappy car stereo last Thursday - a song that moves me to worship came on the radio: "Enough" and I just responded. That moment made a difference. He has been enough.

I'm excited about a lot of my schedule today - apart from the marking of assessments I HAVE to complete this morning - the only thing I find exciting about that is the pay cheque! I'm preparing for cession|core this weekend - thats the cession leaders' group (none of the luxuries of a multi-staff team here boys!) We're in a crazy season right now - Reuben and Vania have just had a baby, Jacob and Melissa are about to get married - but we're holding our own. I love these guys - I'm really looking forward to getting together. I'm really pleased that we have both Sunday's covered for preaching while I'm away - a couple of dead ends and I was starting to sweat on it a bit!

Anyways...devotions are calling...the sun is coming up...I need to drag my corpulence to the gym...


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