Nah Mate

In a continuation kinda sorta of the post on Ka Mate - to add to the confusion of middle new zild - the saffers don't want the Maori rugby team to tour?

They did that once before when they stopped the AB's bringing any Maori in 1956 (and we agreed to our shame). By 1967 NZ was prepared to take a stand - we cancelled the tour when Maori were banned again. It's vaguely amusing and offensive that in 1971 Maori were allowed to tour but it took them being named as "honorary whites" for that to happen. On the other hand, some would say this tour played a small role in highlighting racial issues, especially when the black population came out in force to support the AB's.

And so out of the woodwork come the usual crazies, unable to distinguish between the apartheid selections of the former SA regime and the celebration of indigenous identity that is the Maori team.

The delicious irony, of course, is that the current Japie team IS selected using racial criteria! It used to be called positive discrimination - I think its called affirmative action these days. So, you've got at least 4 different situations in play here, each with a nuanced rationale:

• The All Black team - open to all New Zealanders including (controversially) some Pacific Island players who qualify for our multicultural team by residency (thus denying these players to their country of birth);
• The current South African team selected in part using affirmative action policies to advance the development of black and coloured rugby players, one imagines to the point where the policies are no longer required;
• The former South African team selected using the apartheid principle and thus barring people from a national team;
• The Maori team which operates as a third tier team and is selected from indigenous Maori as a celebration of ethnic identity.

When you can't play for your national team on the basis of your race that's called racial discrimination. When you have other (non national) teams selected from a community of interest that's called ethnic diversity. When you deny someone a legitimate expression of their cultural and ethnic diversity, I'm pretty sure there's a word for it...

Cyber Punk Rules

"Through this evening's tide of faces unregistered, unrecognised, amid hurrying black shoes, furled umbrellas, the crowd descending like a single organism into the station's airless heart, came Shinya Yamazaki, his notebook clasped beneath his arm like the egg case of some modest but moderately successful marine species..."

All Tomorrow's Parties - William Gibson - the open sentence...

Ta Mate

So with all the recent discussions on royalties for Ka Mate - the haka made world-famous by the All Blacks(!) - imagine my surprise when I discovered the ultimate in haka ambassadorship! This is no barechested kiwi dancing on the grave of some overseas sporting team, nor the slightly happy rendition commonly associated with overseas weddings. No. This was something special: a teddy bear who does the ka mate haka. Spotted in Sylvia Park.

Maybe there really is something to this royalties thing?

The Face of a Cheat

Is there any doubt watching the replays that Brad Haddin knew that it was his glove rather than the ball that removed the bails from behind Neil Broom? Certainly not in the mind of Daniel Vettori!

"I think you saw from Haddin's reaction that he knew something was wrong so he probably should have made more noise about it," Vettori said.

And he's 100% right. Haddin pulls back from the wickets with his gloves after the bails have toppled as if to demonstrate he was no where near it and then is strangely muted and late in his appeal. There's a clear moment of decision: do I appeal or not? He does. And that makes him a cheat.

So when Ponting says, "I think he'd better make sure he's 100 percent right before he comes out and makes those sort of statements. It's a bit much, he's basically claiming (Haddin's) a cheat, isn't he? That's a bit strong unless they're 100 percent certain." Yup we're 100% on this one Ricky.

He's done it before. In India he threw one of his wicket keeping gloves to stop the ball. Its also against the rules. That time he got caught and the team was fned 5 runs.

Remember the last Aussie wicket keeping great? Adam Gilchrist was his name. And he'd walk every time he got a nick. Not this guy. The only thing that will stop this becoming as notorious as the underarm incident? We won. A privilege to be the team that inflicted the 4th straight loss at home on this Aussie team. The record is 5...4 to play - can we keep the dominance going?

Q. Who is Australia's newest cheating superstar?

A. OOH, I know, I know, pick me!

The A Team is Back!

You probably have a couple of choices if you're looking for inspiration as a screenwriter - you can reach for high quality literature and craft great films - such as LOTR - or you can rip off TV shows and do a bad job as with Starsky and Hutch (actually I liked that movie - its just that it was self-consciously a p-take, whereas the original didn't realise it was funny...).

Which brings us to the A Team - could it be that such great lines as "I pity the fool" will be reincarnated for the big screen? Apparently yes. Release date is set for June 2010 and with Ridley Scott apparently involved you'd at least hope it might be OK.

What really interests me is who they might get to play the main parts. So I went to the casting couch of the mind to make my choices for the main roles:

Hannibal - the hardest to cast by a mile - George Peppard was so distinctive in this role. Another George...Clooney would be interesting (or predicatable), but may just be the wrong kind of urbane. You could go to the "older" generation - Bruce Willis, Tommy Lee Jones, Burt Reynolds...but I think I'd replace one made for TV face with another and go for the laconic Richard Dean Anderson aka MacGyver - kinda the same show...

BA - this is hard - Samuel L Jackson might have the verbal chops but he doesn't have the physique. Ving Rhames has the physical presence but may actually be too big - remember BA was shortish. But he appeals as the best of the more well known actors - maybe they should cast an unknown dopplegangar of the man as the dialogue is not that challenging and acting was never a necessary part of this role - there must be an over-hyped rapper who could do with the celebrity and perhaps it would help bring a new audience in - for an outside chance, how about Mike Tyson? Nah the dialogue would be beyond him and his little girl voice...

Face - there are a bunch of smooth-faced options for this role - Tom Cruise will probably try to get it but really?! Val Kilmer before the weight went on...I suppose they could go for a Damon-Affleck-Pitt kind of "character". What about Ashton Kutcher? He already has the droopy 70's look down...or you could go for Owen Wilson - you'd just need to find a role for Ben Stiller somewhere in there...

Murdoch - surely this is Jim Carrey's perfect role? Possibly the one character who could be enhanced by a fresh face.

How good would it be to have a job transforming these shows into movies? Now that would be working for a living...

My Holiday Reading Review

Holiday reading isn't what it used to be! With kids discovering new and varied ways to kill or maim themselves every day and a certain suicidal fascination with the beach, there just isn't the free time to lie back with a book. In fact, reading itself changes - some pages you get to read 5 times; others you skip (mainly because of cunning repositioning of your book with the result of losing the page). Anyways, I managed to get through a few in the margins. Here they are:

Dreamsongs - George RR Martin

Yes this is the Song of Ice and Fire author and it does include a short novella "The Hedge Knight" set some years before the action of the series. An interesting feature of this collection of short stories, TV screenplays and novellas is the running commentary by the author which reveals a range of career highlights including involvement as a writer for the Twilight Zone and the TV series Beauty and the Beast! I suppose at least it wasn't that angel one with the Little House on the Prairie guy...

Good fun with a broad selection of fantasy, sci-fi and horror - the interesting thing about Martin is that really he scorns the boundaries between the various genre, preferring to explore the characters most of all as they battle with their humanity. I quite liked Unsound Variations, a sci-fi twister concerning chess and time travel, The Skin Game, which was equal parts horror and sci-fi and of course The Hedge Knight. 8/10

Atilla - William Napier

I'm a sucker for a well-drawn historical novel and this met my expectations in all but one respect. It tracks the early years of Atilla as the sun sets on the Roman empire. Atilla learns more about Rome than they would probably like as a hostage to keep the allied Hun cavalry in line. Its a good yarn with some excellent action as well as thoughtful characterisation. Too late I realised it was a series. Still, I think the series will survive being broken. 8/10

Snare - Katharine Kerr

A classic Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel this one. Fantasy paradigm set on a sci-fi post civilisation breakdown foundation. Lots of interesting questions about identity and genetics as the protaganists discover their world is not what it seems. Some quite original concepts and a good read. 7/10

Sagramanda - Alan Dean Foster

Gosh I must have read a dozen books by this author and he never lets you down. This is set in "near-future India" and you get a sense of the population issues and resource scarcity playing out. Its a kind of sci-fi, commerial espionage, eco thriller. The underdog trying to make a newly created resource available to the world. Was excellent fun with its wacky range of characters but a little disappointing when you discover what the big secret is! 7/10

Days of Infamy - Harry Turtledove

This guy specialises in alternate history, perfect for a sci-fi/history buff! The premise is: what if the Japanese invaded Hawaii after Pearl Harbour? Its a good story with some excellent characters and some nice twists - like the invention of the windsurfer! Lots of "in jokes" as history is subtly changed. Also asks some big questions about racism and what people will do under pressure. 7/10

All in all, I missed finding that truly excellent read in the 9 or 10 range, but with all the distractions, I'm not sure I would have appreciated it.

Beneath the Surface

There are lots of opinions out there on the whole Israel-Palestine thing - the why's of various participants. This may be one of the less informed views! But hey call me cynical, call me whatever you want but this is how I see it:

• The "why" of Israel (apart from the terrorist acts of the Palestinian militants) is in the timing - political expedience with upcoming elections - the sacrifice of human lives for political goals.
• The "why" of Hamas in failing to curb its militant tendencies (apart from the terror pay off that outweighs the deaths caused) is in the publicity - why would Hamas push Israel to retaliation? It makes better international press for their cause - the sacrifice of human lives for political goals.
• And then today some sad protestors at the ASB Tennis Classic in Auckland - protesting professional tennis player Israeli Shahar Peer's involvement - Global Peace and Justice aka John Minto, parading the so-called "developing international consensus" for a sport boycott - which right now doesn't exist so GPJ are on a limb with this one - local influence being leveraged by international tragedy through unilateral action not yet justified by international consensus - there may be a place for boycotts through sport but you do it with the accountability of international consensus when the protection of one group's rights involves the infringement of another person's rights - the sacrifice of one person's rights ostensibly for the rights of others.

Each group has an "end" which is in some sense justifiable. Each group selects means that are not defensible. It's the sad reality of these kinds of conflicts - ideology trumping justice.

Kiwi Christmas

The southern hemisphere Christmas can go one of 2 ways - either its a traditional meal with its roots in northern hemisphere culture - typically the lamb roast option - or its more suited to the summer Christmas - in which case the BBQ is a great option. In our family we alternate depending on who is the most influential in the Christmas planning (usually you win if its at your place).

This year, all were agreed so here's the menu:

Sirloin steak
Chicken kebabs (marinated in red plum, garlic, soy and olive oil) with onion, red pepper, pineapple (fresh) and cherry tomatoes
Chicken and herb sausages
Cold ham on the bone

New potatoes
Lettuce salad with avocado, pear, orange and pineapple with sesame based dressing
Kumara (sweet potato) salad with orange and pineapple dressing
Green bean casserole (bringing the US flavas!)

Boysenberry Flan
Fruit

All great and not too much - restraint somewhat apparent!

So what was your menu?

Oh and merry Christmas!

Rhysent Rhysisms

We had our ultrasound yesterday and baby looks strong and healthy and there is only one! It was very cute we have a picture of the baby's hand and it is open like it is waving at us. Both Rhys and Raegan had their fists all clenced up, but you can really see the little fingers. We didn't find out the gender, but we both think it's a boy. The baby's face wasn't as delicate looking as Raegan's was. We showed Kristen's parents the pictures on skype . Mom said to Rhys,"Rhys, the baby looks just like you." Rhys, "Yes, she does."

Post Nov elections here in NZ there was a news show TV talking about the new cabinet ministers. Rhys was eating breakfast, when he pipes up with, "I've never heard of a minister before....(small pause dead serious out of the corner of his mouth), but I have heard of octopuses."

Talking about a little boy named Paul at kindy. "Paul has monkey ears (said as he pulls his ears out away from his head)." Brett, "Oh, do you tell Paul he has monkey ears?" Rhys, as if were stupid, "Yeah". Brett, "Does Paul like being called monkey ears?" Rhys, "No". Kristen, "Well, maybe you shouldn't tell Paul he has monkey ears." Rhys(again pulling ears away from his head), "If Jesus takes away my ears, will he give me monkey ears instead?"

And then in the Ultrasound place he tells these sweet old people who say Goodbye to him (in front of the entire ultrasound waiting room), "Bye, poopy babies!" The grandmother rolled on the floor out of control laughing when told this on SKYPE (she was on the floor because she was tryting not to let him see her laughing). It seems like the facination with poop has passed down from Marcia to Kristen and now to Rhys!

Kristen is most proud of her saying "poo" and then holding her nose. She usually does this when we go in to get her from a nap. Now, you can smell it as soon as you open the door, but she'll look up and say, "oh, poo" and then grab her nose.

Won't be long before she gets ger own posts on funny things said!

Family Xmas Snap

So at a recent cessioncommunity event "A Town Called Christmas" there was a photobooth - and we managed to grab a photo!

Note the .3 child hiding behind the 1 year old...

Dodgy Santa

I think the thing that hacks me off most about New Zealand is our double standards. That and that we don't actually have any.

So I'm not sure why Heart of the City lobby group is asking Aucklanders whether the ex Farmers Santa now on the Whitcoulls building is just a "dodgy old man" who should be retired.

Didn't we endorse dodgy men running rampant in Queen St when the police, the Courts and finally in a stunning act of democratic prurience, 100K mindless perverts, said its OK to advertise porn from the back of motorbikes?

Has anyone ever seen the Farmers Santa and Boobs on Bikes Promotor Steve Crowe in the same room?

Traces of Me

I went looking for myself on the weekend. Didn't know what I would find. Desperate to find even a trace of me.

On Sunday afternoon, I went to an Open Home. Not just any Open Home however. This was the home of my youth - from age 7 - 21. This was where I lived through so many experiences and events that shaped me.

It was the venue for hundreds of backyard cricket matches, On the Mat bouts and endless re enactments of stirring epics like Robin Hood or the Fighting Prince of Donegal. It marked my transition to Intermediate school, College and University, each new learning opportunity signalled by a new route to travel and a new form of transport - from my green Raleigh Cruiser, to my second hand blue 12 speed, to the redoubtable Suzuki FA50 (cos that was its top speed). It was the scene of disappointments and triumphs - photos that I still have capture these - the death of pets (not the actual death) to winning the top award at my primary school. And it was where my Dad came home to die, except he didn't make it even that far. I moved out soon after.

The house had been substantially renovated and repainted. In some rooms I could have been anywhere surrounded by monochromatic acceptability. In other places I could still make out the dark cedar brown paint around the edges of windows - I grew very familiar with that paint over the years.

It was a surprisingly emotional experience. Memories flooded in. So much to remember. I smiled at little things that remained - the ugly bathroom benchtop, somehow surviving the ethnic cleansing of renovation. Little things like taps and toilet window glass, pavers and washing lines. A vivid memory from the smallest room of a challenge to a God I didn't yet believe in. But so little of me.

I began to search. Surely something remained beyond memories. My room had become faceless and while the window so often used as a means of egress might still have accomodated me, it didn't seem like it was my place to do it any longer.

In vain I searched under the deck for something of me - this had been the setting for many a clubhouse - I wondered if I dug up the floor whether the keepsakes I had buried would still be there. It didn't seem like a great idea for an Open Home. Surely I had scraped my initials somewhere under there - nagging memories of tagging the space tugged at my recollection but I couldn't find anything. No trace. Of me.

And then it came to me. I knew somewhere where the frequency of my passing had worn a memory into the structure of the house. No one would know. It must still be there.

The house in typical 70's style had a flat iron roof. Which made it great for climbing and hiding and exploring (and jumping off). I had looked for evidence of my descent from the roof - pock-marks in a piece of lawn where the slope of the section and the position of the roof made the jump to the ground acceptably dangerous. If you could time it just right, the ground would be soft enough to absorb great heel prints, nearly up to your ankle! But nothing remained.

But what about the access point? Where years of climbing onto the roof had begun the inevitable pulling away of the roofing material from the main structure. Round the back of the garage, the retained slope was just close enough for a young boy to jump up and grab the lip of the roof. Over the years it had become easier, more of a vault than a mad scramble! I ran my hand along the edge of the roof (funny how low it had become...) starting at the far end where I had never been until I found me. Traces of me. Of my passing remained.

Memories I have aplenty. But somehow it mattered that the house remembered me. That some trace of my passing remained. That it was so small didn't seem to matter.

Yeah Right

I just thought this was mean.

Barack the Builder

So I've had this post brewing for days about the first political scandal that would rock the new presidency of Barack Obama. A kind of mini-Watergate. And with Obama being such an orator, you'd expect that someone else was behind the speeches. I mean look at Milli Vanilli (which turned out to be all you could actually do and it actually be them).

But before I disclosed it to the world, I thought I should google this just to be sure. And of course its already all over the net.

Obama's speechwriter is actually...

Bob the Builder.

"America, can we do it? YES WE CAN."

I guess there's nothing new under the sun.

Christian Parties and the Margin of Error

So, the great experiment should now be discontinued. You'd have been better to vote Bill and Ben than to vote any of the Christian parties. At least that way you'd have a heap more fun:


Kiwi Party 11,659
The Bill and Ben Party 10,738
New Zealand Pacific Party 6,991
Family Party 6,973

And for those who are interested - if all the Christian parties and UF's votes had all been mashed in together, you'd still only get to 44,000 votes which is about 2.2% Party Vote.

Next time give the money to the poor.