Monday, May 26, 2008

The Downside of Parenting

"I bet it just makes you want to hold your babies tight?" she said as I returned and enfolded my boy in a hug.

If you didn't know where I had been you'd have guessed from my attire - sombre suit and tie - weddings and funerals only and I've never done a wedding on a Monday. It wasn't exactly a funeral either. I was visiting the home of two of our pastors - a husband and wife team - who's second son had just taken his own life aged 21. Open casket - white with gold handles on a bed of mats in a room wallpapered with mats. We sat and talked and sat some more. And prayed and shared scripture and memories. Comfortable in my uncomfortableness.

I paused for a while before replying to Kristen's question:

"The problem is: you can't hold them tight enough."

Saturday, May 10, 2008

How Do You Get A Walrus Into the Fridge?

A. Open the door and let the Polar Bear out!


Rhys is very imaginative when it comes to play. But also in a way very literal and precise. A great example this week: I went to the fridge to discover the entire polar bear family was in the fridge - the daddy, mummy and baby. Later a penguin also appeared.

When asked what the bears were doing in the fridge Rhys answered:

"They like it in the cold."

And then for good measure he clarified further:

"They don't like it in the hot places."

Which made perfect sense to me.


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

To lead or to plant petunias?

There are lots of things I'd like to write about, but frankly at the moment I am too busy to write. And too busy writing to write for fun. Sounds awful, but its really OK. I like what I do. But one of the thoughts that has been swirling in my head for some years - really ever since I did my MBA dissertation on Systems Theory and the Church - the art and science of church leadership.

The basic premise of my dissertation was that for churches and other NPO's the organic systems metaphors are most helpful. Top down authority structures are unlikely to work with volunteers. So I was looking for learnings with people like Peter Senge and "The Learning Organisation", and Peter Drucker who famously described the product of an NPO as "a transformed human being". Beautiful. I also liked Wheatley's thoughts on the organisation as organism driven by 2 key determinants: the need to self-determine and the need for one another. The promise and the paradox of community. She summed the challenge to live in this tension very nicely:

It seems that whenever we bargain with life and seek to satisfy only one of its two great needs, the result is a quality of true lifelessness. We must live within the paradox; life does not allow us to choose sides. Our communities must support our individual freedom as a means to community health and resiliency. And individuals must acknowledge their neighbors and make choices based on the desire to be in relationship with them as a means to their own health and resiliency.

Since I completed that study, I have become a lead pastor within a new church. And so I have had the chance to practice what I preached. Its not perfect, but I try to live in the tension. Mainly I do this by investing in the people around me - Senge's Five Disciplines are probably most influentual to me in trying to create the Learning Organisation:

…organizations where people continually expand their capacity to create the results they truly desire, where new and expansive patterns of thinking are nurtured, where collective aspiration is set free, and where people are continually learning to see the whole together.

The Five Disciplines are:

Systems thinking
Personal mastery
Mental models
Building shared vision
Team learning


Personal mastery is probably the main one that doesn't really sound like what it is! Senge says it best:

‘Organizations learn only through individuals who learn. Individual learning does not guarantee organizational learning. But without it no organizational learning occurs’.

Personal mastery is the discipline of continually clarifying and deepening our personal vision, of focusing our energies, of developing patience, and of seeing reality objectively’

It goes beyond competence and skills, although it involves them. It goes beyond spiritual opening, although it involves spiritual growth.

Personal Mastery is a special kind of proficiency. It is not about domination or authority, but rather about calling. Vision is vocation rather than simply just a good idea. People with a high level of personal mastery live in a continual learning mode. They never ‘arrive’. It is a process. It is a lifelong discipline. It requires high amounts of reflection at an individual and corporate level and that is sometimes (often!) painful or boring or time consuming. People with a high level of personal mastery are acutely aware of their ignorance, their incompetence, their growth areas. BUT they are deeply self-confident.

Anyways, I try to approach this task of promoting the 5 Disciplines through relational coaching and maintaining 'span of care' across the leadership of the organisation. That means leaders caring for leaders and caring about their growth. Also drawing people together to envision one another.

Thats an interesting dynamic sometimes - people understandably resist the time squeeze that spending the time to distil vision really takes - and this is part of the prompt to write something (even something this unfocused!) - actually it came out of reading this article in todays Leadership Weekly email and pondering on the sustainability of this kind of time-intensive ministry and then thinking about how that would be received in my context! Four guys in team ministry. Seems like a fun environment, although I think one that a volunteer-heavy scenario would struggle with. This defintely has the luxury of fulltime staff attached to it! Some plusses and minuses which they are pretty frank about - I like the way they don't focus on the perfect organisation but acknowledge that you basically pick your problems with organisational structure. Every choice has both understood and unacknowledged consequences - mostly you get to decide which problem to eliminate rather than to deal to them all! And I liked the band metaphor in terms of an organic creative process (they obviously never watched the Commitments!)

Anyway some nice thoughts along the way which were stimulating and interesting - and it made me write something! Albeit that it really offers no conclusions...

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The Google Name Game

For years Steve Deur has tormented me with photos from Google. So I thought I'd play a variation on the game, inspired by his latest post. First up though the Deurty Google Photo game - simply Google your friends and find genuine photos of them:

Frank Ritchie

Jacob Powell

Rhett Snell

Fun times late on a Friday night after the Blues were robbed a myopic assistant referee...

But the new variation on Googling your name is to find the most famous other you on the web! Here's the most famous Brett Joneses I could find:

Brett Jones the Country/Alternative Musician
Brett Jones the AFL Player
Brett Jones the Movie Stunt Man

But my personal favourite is this Brett Jones!

Is there a better you out there?





Friday, April 11, 2008

Family Holiday

So we took some time out in the Corommandel - a really needed break and the gift of free accommodation tipped us out of our vacillation. Holidays with kids though are different to how you remember them:

1. Holidays usually involve sleep ins. Here's the problem: kids don't sleep in, so you don't either - especially not when you're the husband of a breastfeeding wife - there is an unwritten law to say that you get up with the kids in the morning unless you want to start some hormome therapy and take over the night feeds...

2. Beach holidays mean you can spend time reading on the beach, sleeping on the beach, walking on the beach. Not with kids. The beach becomes a potential deathzone more chilling than any D-Day landing site. There are things to eat, places to drown and areas to wander off into. Reading? Sleeping? Not a chance. Walking - well you can walk with a kid on the beach for about 2 mins - then you have to carry them.

3. Holidays normally mean endless games of backyard or beach cricket. So imagine my delight when the local dairy was selling a kids cricket set (real wooden bat) for $12. This is something of a miracle if you stop for a moment and reflect on the price gouging that goes on in these places. A 1kg pot of yoghurt was running at $8.25...And so Rhys learned to play cricket in a yoghurt free environment. He mastered the terminology of bat, bowling, stumps and bails. He watched with interest as we sawed the one piece bail in half. He manfully attempted to swing the bat and even began to hold it correctly. One particular shot showed great hand-eye for a 3 year old. He showed more enthusiasm for bowling than batting and took his first wicket in backyard cricket. The batsman was out played on. It was a fine shot, believe me. Most of all he loved fielding, chasing the ball. The only problem? The length of these games. Most of them were over within an over (6 pitches for you American readers). There were too many other distractions - amazing things like stairs, or trees, or hitting trees with stumps...I was glad we made a start though and it was fun Dad stuff.

4. I like to journal when I'm away. In fact for me holidays are good reflection times. I got to write two words this time. On sand using a stick. Rhys. Brett. Rhys loved this journaling.

When we got home, we talked about what we liked on our holiday. Rhys was full of stories. One thing stuck out - he remembered our beach writing: "Mama," he said, "Daddy and Rhys' names both have a "R" in them".

Holidays sure have changed.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Loan, Loaned, Lent

Lent is done. This final week has been good - the sacramental life has been my discipline of engagement - I tried to do my piece of art for Stations of the Cross, with this in mind. I made a cup of suffering. Its OK. Some say it looks like something off a Hellraiser movie - if does have some little sharp bits sticking out of it...

Abstinence has been a little challenged over the last few weeks by being very busy and particularly being out of Auckland for some extended periods for the national church. Also its a bit of a community-focused season for us, with 300 people showing up to our Easter Egg Hunt last weekend and a Stations exhibition plus 3 services this Easter weekend. So far I managed to throw wax all over me from a candle. There are some awesome exhibits. That makes it sound like me throwing wax is an exhibit!

But for those interested I did stay the course. The biggest thing was the way my attitude to food has changed. It is truly an amazing thing to sort out all the little lies you tell yourself. I'm beginning to see other areas which are the same.

I made the 10kg goal. Actually it was 12.1kg (27lbs). I'm gonna stay with it for a while longer and go to at least 15kg. I still seem a little fat for my weight, so we'll see what exercise adds to the picture. Nice side benefit.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Champions

In a week where the Blues lost to the journeymen Force, its good to have cultural heritage options when it comes to rugby! Doesn't give me any scholarship options mind you...What an amazing turnaround for the Welsh team after the World Cup - putting a Kiwi in charge seems to have worked for them (again). Also in late breaking news, Rhett Snell slips out of the top 500 in the Virtual Super 14 and is beaten soundly by yours truly in this week's picks. Head over to Rhett's blog today for the explanation...



Thursday, March 13, 2008

Not Much To Say

Told you!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Few Tips

A few people have been asking - what have you been doing to lose the weight? Well I'm not going to share all my secrets but here's a couple of things that have worked for me:

  • Carry a water bottle - its trendy and it keeps you full while ensuring your water levels are up. Because I hate water I keep mine chilled and add lemon or lime to it - turns it from a tasteless necessity into a refreshing beverage
  • Drink herbal tea after dinner - deals to the need for SOMETHING after the witching hour for eating 6-7pm - most weight loss gurus will tell you not to eat after this time - also its non caffeine which helps with the next one
  • Go to bed earlier - with the above in mind - if you stay up to 11pm thats 5-6 hours without food - you bet you're gonna struggle not to snack in that time!
  • Don't miss the snack breaks - a no brainer cos I'm so damn hungry I'm living for that snack break! But actually, as you become accustomed to living in a state of hunger, it is easier than you'd think to miss those important top ups
  • Weigh yourself once per week. Yup don't count the little steps - go for the big weigh in and feed off the euphoria for the whole week.
  • Make a plan when you go into habitual feast environments. For example, I went to the rugby recently at which its every man's God-given right to eat a burger, fries and a hot dog. Instead I treated myself to an espresso. Its also every man's God-given right to die young of a heart attack...the other night with some friends at a restaurant, while my friends gorged on delicious looking gourmet meat lovers pizza, fries and wedges, I treated myself to seafood which I love and roasted field mushrooms which were awesome.

Anyways, just a few thoughts from me. Most of the rest of the time I'm living off the juice of 2 lettuces rubbed viciously together...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Lent II

Been a bit slow in updating last week's Lent journey. The Discipline of engagement that I was trying to encounter was:

Holiness: The Virtuous Life - By God's grace, I will strive mightily against sin and will do deeds of love and mercy.Questions of Examen:What temptations have you faced since our last meeting? How did you respond? Which spiritual disciplines has God used to lead you further into holiness of heart and life?

Once again it proved to resonate very strongly with the Discipline of Abstinence - controlling my food intake - with the resistance of temptation regarding food being a very significant dynamic this week. So, I tried to focus a little on the pathology of resisting temptation. It was very interesting:

  • Surprisingly, I found it easier to resist food than I did to resist other temptations. As I thought about this I realised it was because deep down i do not really believe that these other things are harmful to me or others. Now I do think that they are, but at the behavioural level, I am still inclined to trade the benefit (cos all sin has an apparent benefit) for the cost.

  • This leads me to ponder the process by which I take that belief deeper. No answers yet, but thinking through consequences certainly helps.

  • Most of these things are minor issues - I didn't give into the temptation of homicide anytime this week for example, but I agree with Jesus when he looks at the heart on these things rather than the act - and so its been valuable to be more aware of these things.

For those of you who are interested, this week's weight loss was 3.4 kg bringing the total to 6.9 kgs (15lbs).


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A Grand Epic?

So Sunday night I preached the first in a series titled Passion - this week, it was a Passion for Truth and I was exploring the scriptures as a source of truth. I was heavily influenced in my approach to John 1 by NT Wright's view of the Bible as a story which gains its authority from the power of the whole story of Creation and Redemption as an extension of God's own authority. I hope I haven't done an injustice to his thoughts in paraphrasing it like that!



Meantime I came across this article by Scot McKnight - he has a blog which I read a lot (check out the side bar). Scot McKnight is professor of religious studies at North Park University in Chicago and the author of the upcoming book, The Blue Parakeet: Rethinking How You Read the Bible. The article has now been followed up with an online version of a quiz which allows you to test how you actually approach the reading of the scriptures.

Take the test! I tested as a low-end progressive with a score of 70 (its starts at 66). According to the test, the Progressive:

"...tends to see the Bible as historically shaped and culturally conditioned, and yet most still consider it the Word of God for today. Following a progressive hermeneutic, for the Word to speak in our day, one must interpret what the Bible said in its day and discern its pattern for revelation in order to apply it to our world. The strength, as with the moderate but even more so, is the challenge to examine what the Bible said in its day, and this means the progressives tend to be historians. But the problems for the progressives are predictable: Will the Bible's so-called "plain meaning" be given its due and authoritative force to challenge our world? Or will the Bible be swallowed by a quest to find modern analogies that sometimes minimize what the text clearly says?"

Love to know where you come out...bound to be some heretics out there!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lent Update

So far, Lent has been an engaging experience for me. The 2 parts of my Lent commitments have been working in synergy to produce some interesting results.

On the Discipline of Engagement side I have been pursuing aspects of the Contemplative Life - mainly the practising the presence of God idea which I referenced in my previous post on this. The idea originated with Brother Lawrence, a French monk, who lived in the 16oo's:

That we should establish ourselves in a sense of GOD's Presence, by continually conversing with Him.

You can read the full text of Brother Lawrence conversations here.

The Discipline of Abstinence which I am undertaking is to moderate my food intake. Moderate is perhaps an understatement - slash, savage, eliminate comes closer!

What has been fascinating to me is how the two have worked together - the constant hunger acts as a constant call to prayer - and so the discipline of abstinence which for me is about redeeming the hold food has on my moods, is promoting the discipline of engagement, which is to be more constantly aware of God's presence. And of course what I need is a greater awareness of God's presence and less self-medication with food.

Here are some other outcomes:

  • Food has become somehow different to me this past week - it is less of a habitual passtime and more a part of a sustainable life rhythm. In one sense food has become fuel.
  • Meal times have become more worshipful - not of the food(!) - but I have been so hungry that I find myself really thankful for what God has provided.
  • It has forced me into a more healthy eating paradigm - I consume massive amounts of milk and bread in a given week. My family have been in awe that the milk has lasted a full week! Same for the bread. But more so, in order to eat anything substantial at night, I have had to increase my vegetable intake - so I've been enjoying finding ways to enjoy veges that I do like: onions, garlic, capsicums, chillis, zuccinis, mushrooms and managing to use others, that I don't much care for, in creative ways - carrots and tomatoes would fit in here!
  • I've invented a couple of great new recipes
  • I have lost 3.5kg in week one. That's nearly 8lbs for US viewers.

The most enduring outcome though has been a sense of God's peace. This is in a time of great personal challenge with difficult family issues and demanding work transitions. The last 2 Sundays for example have been fraught with unbelievable personal challenges and yet I have not felt the stress of that as I have been a part of sharing from scripture with the church community.

And for me, the fruit produced, is the main thing I'm looking to measure in all this.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Lent

Its that time againt - Lent a time of preparation for celebrating Easter. For me this year there are disciplines of abstinence and engagement that are needed! So what exactly is a spiritual discipline? I like the Renovare definition:

A Spiritual Discipline is an intentionally directed action by which we do what we can do in order to receive from God the ability (or power) to do what we cannot do by direct effort.

This year I am trying something different. I am going to focus activity in the following 6 areas based on the Renovare approach. In terms of specific abstinence I am going to arrange my life so as to lose 10kg - the importance of this for me in terms of the disciplines, is not to lose 10kg per se but to deepen my engagement with God instead of food, as I seek to know that all is right with my world. I'm expecting it to be very hard.

Contemplative: The Prayer-filled life - By God's grace, I will set aside time regularly for prayer, meditation, and spiritual reading and will seek to practice the presence of God.
Questions of Examen:In what ways has God made his presence known to you since our last meeting? What experiences of prayer, meditation, and spiritual reading has God given you? What difficulties or frustrations have you encountered? What joys and delights?

Holiness: The Virtuous Life - By God's grace, I will strive mightily against sin and will do deeds of love and mercy.
Questions of Examen:What temptations have you faced since our last meeting? How did you respond? Which spiritual disciplines has God used to lead you further into holiness of heart and life?

Charismatic: The Spirit-Empowered Life - By God's grace, I will welcome the Holy Spirit, exercising the gifts and nurturing the fruit while living in the joy and power of the Spirit.
Questions of Examen:Have you sensed any influence or work of the Holy Spirit since our last meeting? What spiritual gifts has the Spirit enabled you to exercise? What was the outcome? What fruit of the Spirit would you like to see increase in your life? What disciplines might be useful in this effort?

Social Justice: The Compassionate Life - By God's grace, I will endeavor to serve others everywhere I can and will work for justice in all human relationships and social structures.
Questions of Examen:What opportunities has God given you to serve others since our last meeting? How did you respond? Have you encountered any injustice to or oppression of others? Have you been able to work for justice and shalom?

Evangelical: The Word-Centered Life - By God's grace, I will share my faith with others as God leads and study the Scriptures regularly.
Questions of Examen:Has God provided an opportunity for you to share your faith with someone since our last meeting? How did you respond? In what ways have you encountered Christ in your reading of the Scriptures? How has the Bible shaped the way you think and live?

Incarnational: The Sacramental Life - By God's grace, I will joyfully seek to show forth the presence of God in all that I say, in all that I do, in all that I am.
Questions of Examen:In what ways have you been able to manifest the presence of God through your daily work since our last meeting? How has God fed and strengthened you through the ministry of word and sacrament?

Thursday, February 07, 2008

What if...

...NZ had a President. Who would you vote for? It doesn't seem fair that we just get to vote for a party, when we could also have the excitement of a Presidential election! Now so this doesn't turn into a party-based vote, I want you to vote for the current party leader that you'd love to have as the "head of state" regardless of the party that might hold sway in the legislature. Just vote to your right!