Poop Patrol

Last night I went to work with the CIA. It was a follow up to my mission with them in December 07 This time I was really going to be up to my neck in it.

The plan? To infiltrate 9 Portaloos aka Portajohns into the Lansing Mall carpark aka parking lot. The reason? To provide spy platforms for the impending 4th of July fireworks display attended by thousands of locals.

The aptly named Ameri-cans had been delivered earlier. Our task was to turn them into counter espionage fortresses. There was all the usual - toilet paper, hand sanitiser - but we added the WMD - weapons of massive diversion - propaganda signs that said it all:

• This moment of relief has been brought to you by your friends at Lansing Faith


• The seats are much more comfortable at Lansing Faith


• You think you feel better now; imagine how much better you'll feel when you meet Jesus


• Sometimes life stinks; we're trying our best to make it better

To make sure the message got through we handed out 2000 bugs disguised as glo-sticks. Each glo stick was bugged with a lanyard branded with the Lansing Faith's website. They snapped them up.

The lines were long as person after person responded to the honey trap. Oh sweet relief.

The night finished around midnight as we returned the WMD (weapons of mass defecation) to their original status ready for pickup by the contractor. A job well done.