Secret Plan #45 How the All Blacks Can Find Out How to Win the 2007 World Cup

Ask the Black Ferns

Final Trip Musings

Our last week was low key, back in Lansing with the in-laws. Concentrated on honing the golfing skills of my long-time Tiger Woods Golf altar ego - Sabre Slash. He is a human golfing version of my cat. He is very cool looking, much cooler than me if you can believe it.

Other features of the final week:

• A day of catching up - Phil S (Impact) and Ed Love (Epic). Its amazing to see what the Epic plant team has done with their facility. I was covetous.
• Caught up with Jim W and Mark G for coffee on the same day. Good to see old friends. Bored Jim to death with stories of heinous crap from 2006 (Deurty and Ken - you see what you missed?)
• I lost count of how many times we ate out that week - breakfasts, lunch, dinner - its a way of life in the US.
• Lots of family farewells strung out over the whole week. Try not to feel guilty...
• Picked up some summer slip ons at an end of season sale (one of the advantages of living a split hemisphere existence)
• Realised what a hole LA airport really is by going via San Francisco - I couldn't believe the difference - foodhalls galore and a virtual museum in one of the main thoroughfares!
• Saw Michael Franti and Spearhead on the plane from San Francisco to Sydney (finally I have a musical namedropping story to equal Rhett). Some of the band thought Rhys was cute. Should I say that Mr Franti (and his no shoes) was seen in first class. He redeemed his egalitarian self by slumming it in cattle class for the Sydney-Auckland leg (playing tonight at the St James).

Home after a 30 hour plus flight. Its good to be back.

Bluegrass, NZ Wine & the Ozarks

So its my second attempt to post on the Missouri trip, the first having been frustratingly torpedoed by computer malfunctions...anyways here goes:

THE TRIP

Its about 12 hours to Missouri (including breaks, a distance of over 600 miles. We passed through Indiana on the way - lots of flat country surrounded by corn...unfortunately 10 mins of scenery viewing and you're pretty much done. A good book helped with some of the travel boredom!

Missouri is quite different. We crossed the Mississippi into St Louis, complete with its large archway representing the gateway to the west. Missouri is much more like NZ with rolling hill country and lots of green.

Its kind of weird crossing state lines - the signs and speed limits change - the Hinterman family tradition is to sound the horn maniacally whenever a state line is crossed. It reminded me of Bo and Luke Duke fleeing Hazard county across the state line and thus avoiding the clutches of Boss Hogg, the sheriff (Roscoe P Coltrane) and Deputy Enos ("you got your ears on you dipstick").



FAMILY CONNECTIONS

Dixon Missouri is home to Kristen's maternal grandfather's family - the Martins. We were there for a family reunion and it was great to be able to have Rhys meet his family. A number of the great aunts still live in Dixon and the surrounding area - we stayed with Aunt Mary Sue and Uncle George, who were the epitome of hospitality. The highlight of the trip came when we visited the old family homestead. The family settled in this area some years ago - the homestead itself was built in 1948 - but it was the second home built on the farm. We learned a lot about the family history including the story of Kristen's great-great grandmother, Lily Ponder who was of Cherokee blood and married at age 14! It was a different world I guess.

It should come as no surprise that Rhys was somewhat popular with family and he didn't play up to the attention once ;) The family reunion lunch was a huge feast - significant offerings included fried chicken, mashed potatoes, spicy mexican dishes, baked beans, green bean casserole and a chocolate cheesecake that was excellent. Coffee was not drinkable. If you ever feel the need for a coffee detox, the USA is the perfect place. If it weren't for Chris and his stovetop espresso pot, I think I would dry up completely...

ADULTERY, TRAGEDY AND BLUEGRASS

"My mother died last night,
And my daddy in the morning.
It was such a shame,
When that day it came a dawning.
And then my dog got paralysed,
It was a big surprise.
I guess I should have realised,
That life is just too short.

Oh life is just too short
I don't know why I get up out of bed
Oh life is just too short
You take a breath and then you find you're dead

I went to see my girlfriend:
She was with another.
She'd kept it in the family,
Her new man was my brother.
In tears I walked out to the gate,
Then fell and broke my leg.
They say they have to amputate,
And now my leg's too short.

Oh life is just too short
I don't know why I get up out of bed
Oh life is just too short
You take a breath and then you find you're dead
"

So, this is not an actual bluegrass song, but you get the idea. Actually, when they're not singing about death and tragedy or God, they're singing about adultery. It led me to speculate on whether Bluegrass is really the softporn of American music. Its not hiphop or metal but its not exactly a posterchild for purity either!

The musicianship was at times out of this world. The standard makeup of each group was banjo, guitar, mandolin, double bass and fiddle - thats violin for you classical purists - I learned that a violin is actually a fiddle who has gone to University... the music is punctuated by instrumental breaks so the better soloists got a great opportunity to show off their sometimes extraordinary skill. We spent a day there at the Bluegrass festival and it was just the right amount of time...

WINERY SURPRISE

I visited a local winery while I was there and discovered that white wine in particular was excessively sweet. But even more interesting was the discovery that one of the winemakers there was a New Zealander! We chatted for a while - very surreal - apparently I was the 3rd kiwi he'd seen there in 4 years. I bought a bottle of red made from a grapevine that was grown from wild grapes found in the area by early settlers. A real local wine!

The trip back was uneventful although strangely it didn't seem as long as the trip down. These past few days have been spent at the family home here in Lansing lazing around. Liking it.

From the Trenchers

So I finally get long enough at a computer to attempt some kind of coherent blog...so without further introduction:

THE FLIGHT

Things started well with an aisle seat near the front of the plane with the adjoining seat empty! There are many theories on which seats are best. My firm opinion after trying them all is middle block, aisle seat. That way you don't have to clamber over anyone (a big problem if you take the window - by the way you can't actually see anything for 95% of the flight). And you only have a maximum of one person clambering over you. You can more easily access your overhead luggage and maintain proper ratios of urinary relief.

Had the cool as personal movie screen so watched V For Vendetta and Sione's Wedding. Enjoyed both.

The LAX layover was 9 hours - the price you pay for a free ticket. So I walked to my next terminal and basically killed time - reading, sleeping, eating... The remaining 2 flights were fine and without drama.

Except my bags didn't make it...

THE REUNION

It was great to see Kristen and Rhys again. Rhys was very eager to show me a Tiger in an advertisement on the wall, which he dragged me to! He was priceless on seeing me: He half smiled/cried, looking bewildered as if to say, "What is Daddy doing here?"

The bags arrived later that afternoon.

A happy day spent hanging out with the fam. Renewed rough housing with the boy. Chris and Marcia have a great new home and Rhys had certainly made himself at home!

Next day wasn't so grand. Somehow I caught something and spent the day spewing. Oh and into the night. Friday was listless and lacking. I finally managed to eat something that night. I wasn't looking forward to the wedding but was about 60% by then so did OK.

THE WEDDING

For those of you who like these things. Shortest ceremony in history. Bride wore a dress. Rhys was awesome, diligently following the cart that was pulled up the aisle by one cousin carrying another. Kristen sang and did a reading. She was excellent.

Rhys is certainly his father's son, bringing all manner of crazy dance moves to the dance floor. In fact he stole the show and demonstrated commendable stamina.

IMPACT VISIT

Next day we visited Impact, cession's partner church. This was a lot of fun. I did an interview style message with Phil, looking at the importance of engaging with the stories of others as part of connecting their story to God's story. It seemed to go well. We used one of the "Upside Down Religion" DVD's as an example of a story. Lots of people to say "HI" to and the chance for some more meaningful connection with the Impact leadership over an extended lunch. It was great to see the foundations for their new auditorium taking shape.

SECOND HONEYMOON

Next day we headed north to Mackinac Island (pronounced Mackinaw). This was where we had our honeymoon 3 years ago. Kristen and I spent Monday evening on the island and were joined next day by Rhys and the grandparents. The big thing about Mackinac is they don't allow cars. So its all bikes and horses with a fair bit of history. Very romantic destination. We completed a horse drawn tour which was fun. Rhys loved the horses. Mackinac is also the home of fudgemaking (I kid you not). So there was the obligatory tasting and purchasing (although as a non sweet eater I did not overly participate).

Today we came back via a wildlife exhibit. All stuffed animals but very well done and a great way to get to understand the Michigan fauna - Elk, deer, wolverines (a type of weasel), coyotes, wolves, bobcats, lynx etc. Lunch was Michigan whitefish (from the lake) which I had been wanting to try. It was good. We also raced Go-Karts and I acquitted myself well with a stunning last lap to take the chequered flag. But who's competing...

BLUE GRASS

We're back here in Lansing tonight but head away to Missouri tomorrow for a Bluegrass Festival and Family Reunion. The bummer is we have to drive 12 hours! More on that to follow...back next week, so don't expect much from me from the hillbilly country...

Hope everyone is having a great time!

Idle Chatter

So I was watching the end of NZ Idol last night and I heard 2 outrageous comments.

The first from Dominic Bowden which left me speechless: In introducing the all time classic from Elton John, more recently re-engineered by George Michael, Dominic named the title of the song as “Don’t Let Your Son Go Down On Me”…I couldn’t believe it! The song is of course, “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me”, a quite different sentiment. Oh the buzz of live TV.

Then Megan Alatini described the singer of this great ballad as “the total package”. She was right: he was good-looking, humble and engaging. Just one problem, he couldn’t sing! I was praying for an early sunset, believe me.

Actually, speaking of Megan Alatini nee Cassie, I always feel some degree of proprietary interest concerning her career (?). When I was a student I delivered a piano to her family home. It all started there.

Driving home from the airport today (boo hoo – I am a bachelor for 2 weeks), I heard something on the radio that breathed new optimism into the Israel-Lebanon situation. It was a relief to know that they have quality people bringing great wisdom to bear on the process. A UN advisor made this sage pronouncement: “Unless we can find some common ground, we are not going to get a resolution.” Amazing.

Jonesbachelor

To Be Or Not To Be?

Scott posted some questions on his blog concerning the liberal-conservative Christian divide. I started to comment and it got too long, so I posted it here instead! If you're interested you should check out Scott's post first.

The problem with the definitions Scott uses is that when they are used in Christian circles as adjectives they define a particular generally definable Christian view. The definitions he uses are general definitions and don't really help define "liberal and conservative Christians." Of course thats part of the problem with the way these labels are thrown around - no one wants to be conservative! But is liberal all good either?!

Liberal Christians are hard to define because they are by definition retreading orthodox Christianity. Liberal Christianity is often characterised by the following features:

> internal diversity of opinion

> an embracing of stronger criticism of the Bible with a corresponding willingness to question supernatural elements of biblical stories (e.g. the resurrection, the virgin birth)

> the rejection of biblical literalism and the inerrancy of the Bible

> the freedom to construct different views of God

> broader views on salvation than those held by conservative Christians, including universalist beliefs (which flow to some extent from the frequent rejection of Christ's resurrection)

> an emphasis on inclusive fellowship and community, often applied in recent years to racial minorities, women, and lesbian, gay and bi-sexual people.

> a willingness to consider and adopt viewpoints which have their roots outside of Christianity (e.g. other faith/philosophical traditions)

> a willingness to combine theology with modern scientific theories

> a commitment to the social gospel that fuels a high level of involvement in charitable, medical, educational, and relief work, such as adoption agencies, crisis pregnancy centres, shelters, food banks, medical clinics, things like Auckland City Mission etc

So its liberal in that its open. But, in my opinion, fatally misguided in that it tends to reject orthodox Christian starting points.

Conservative Christianity on the other hand does not necessarily mean that its closed (although it often does!) Conservative Christianity is often characterised by the following features:

> A belief in the authority of the Bible and a belief that it is an incontrovertible source of God's revelation to humankind.

> Bible prophecy and Bible inerrancy are typically affirmed.

> The resurrection of Christ is seen as a historical event

> A central focus on Christ's redeeming work on the cross as the means for salvation and the forgiveness of sins and an accompanying acceptance of his divinity

> Encouragement of evangelism - sharing one's belief in salvation through Jesus Christ with others - through both organised missionary work and personal evangelism.

> Traditional views on a literal heaven and hell.

> A high level of involvement in charitable, medical, educational, and relief work, such as adoption agencies, crisis pregnancy centres, shelters, food banks, medical clinics, things like Auckland City Mission etc

So its conservative in that its mostly orthodox, but often misguided in that it adopts a siege mentality.

I think I am more conservative in my beliefs, but more liberal in the way I process the world. But I reject either of those labels as getting even close in defining my faith. And that's the problem the conservatives have - they often can't handle that - you're either conservative or you're liberal - well welcome to the world, its a lot bigger than they think! As for liberal Christianity it falls into 2 camps for me: those that maintain a belief in the divinity and humanity of Christ, including his death and physical resurrection, and those who don't. For me, the second group are not Christian in belief. In fact I have heard some describe themselves as post-Christians, which is about right - post-Christ. Of course among the 2 or 3 readers of this blog there may be those who don't feel adequately described by my descriptions - I'm not trying to be exhaustive, just somewhat descriptive.

One of the reasons I am attracted to the emerging church conversation is because it tends to be orthodox in its foundations but asks questions of the established order that I think are healthy. But I think there is a danger for the emerging church in becoming seduced down a liberal theological path. It is possible to follow Christ and be neither liberal or conservative.

In fact I'd say its essential.

Police Prostitutes

The latest furore concerning the Police woman turned prostitute reveals the huge double standard that exists now in New Zealand society. Police bosses deemed the woman's secondary employment as "incompatible with policing". Why? If prostitution is now legal, then the right to be employed as a prostitute should be no different than the selling of any personal services. All personal services, from cosmetic surgeon to masseur, shoeshining to podiatry, would seem to be captured by this incompatibility. Surely this is a significant breach of the police woman's rights to be employed in a legally sanctioned place of work?

Or maybe its not just the policewoman who has no clothes...

Oncoming

We were sitting at the lights yesterday waiting to turn right. The straight ahead lane light turned from red to green. The right hand turn arrow remained red. The car at the front of our queue instinctively powered into the intersection turning right...into the path of oncoming traffic. Fortunately there was only one car and a collision was narrowly avoided. Fortunate for the 3 kids in the back. School holidays and all.

Sometimes, I get preoccupied with where I'm going. The lure of the destination seduces me into carelessness with the process of arriving. It becomes second nature to rush when waiting is the wiser choice. To take a short cut to maintain the illusion of faster progress. So far, I've been able to avoid a head-on, but its not a smart way to drive.

I get distracted by those who ask, "Are we there yet?" In those moments its tempting to understate the remaining journey, "No, not far now." This does not serve them well, nor me - if its not far now, then more speed, more speed. And we're still arriving for some time yet...

There are those around me who sound a warning from time to time. Its tempting to ignore the horn blasts: what red light? Its easy to misinterpret warnings as criticism - 90% of people believe they are above average drivers...mostly its down to them that I've stayed safe. Its a good thing for all of us that we have each other.

The guy second in line wasn't watching the lights either - he was watching the car in front, and blindly followed into the intersection and the oncoming...makes you think.

Jonesbeep

cessioncommunity blog

Check out my post over at cession community's blog...

Rockstar Excess

Alright, here's where I admit a huge character flaw. Last time I discovered one was in 1986. Here it is: I watched Rockstar INXS and I will watch Rockstar Supernova...

Even if only for the best unsigned...houseband in the world - awesome band!

Anyways, I won't be voting but I have picked my top 6 after watching week 1. I will be very disappointed if the majority don't make it through to the business end of the show. My top 6 in order of rating so far are:

Josh

Sweet, soul voice with wild intonation - the talent oozes - will be interesting to see how versatility shapes up

Storm

Excellent voice with great stage presence

Dilana
Intense, feral, unique

Ryan (Where did the photo go?)
Demonstrated multi-dimensional intensity within one song

Lukas

Superb vocal - out-idolled Billy - weird weasel boy

Jill

A lot of voice - a bit frilly round the edges but could make it to the last few

Watch for the goof from Iceland to go first...

In Memorium

This is always a funny week for me. Its a kind of worlds-colliding week, not bad, just interesting and cause for reflection.

Monday 3 July was the 4th anniversary of my late wife's Claire's death. It seems forever ago and just like yesterday all at the same time. This year I have been too pressed to make my annual pilgrammage to Cockle Bay, the beach where we were married and where Claire's ashes were scattered. I guess thats what happens when an anniversary falls on a week day (unlike the past few years). I'll still go - I'm not sentimental (OCD?) about doing things on the exact days.

But its been fun recalling our life together, remembering little turns of phrase she had that have been popping up in my vocab this week - Claire loved the word "jaunty" for example and would use it with a slightly clipped, affected voice that made it very funny. Just a week or 2 ago, I was watching a DVD at cell and found myself asking the question in response to a situation where a woman lost her husband, "How would I cope with that?" Except I already did. That was a strange moment.



On the other hand, yesterday was 4 July and we celebrate that today (its 4 July in the USA now) as a family every year. This has only become more important to us with Rhys around. The new life has fresh patterns of its own.

Anyways, nothing particularly deep to say - just aware of the seasons of life this week - the bitter-sweet moments - the memories and creation of memories - traditions and recollections.

Its good.

The Israel Connundrum

A week or so ago, the locals Christian Leaders gathering for the area I pastor in, was visited by a Jewish gentleman. When I say Jewish I mean 2 things: first I mean it ethnically. Second I mean he was a true Jew, one who has recognised Christ as the Messiah. These people are commonly referred to as Messianic Jews.

Anyway, the guy works with a Messianic church in Israel and they do a great job helping Jews find Jesus as Messiah. I always find that stuff interesting.

But the reason for his visit was something different. He was there to convince us that if we really want to be blessed as pastors and churches then we need to support Israel as the modern nation which is the continuation of the Israel talked about in the Old Testament: God's chosen people. Bible believing people will understand this as truth. Now this raises many issues, some of which were pointed out to the gentleman! Not least was his lack of any knowledge on other legitimate biblical views ie he didn't have the tools to even discuss other views. Thats another story...

The point for me is this: I can't help thinking about the certainty of this man's claims as I watch the scenes unfold on TV this week. The Israeli sledgehammer cracking the peanut of a small terrorist cell. All the while the innocent casualties, people and infrastructure, mount.

I know the Jews left a trail of destruction behind them in the OT, but I just can't help but think that this is not the way God's chosen people should really behave...just a thought.

The Luckiest Man in New Zealand?

The Unthinkable...

The unthinkable happened today: I found myself cheering for Australia in the Soccer world cup...I'm seeking therapy...

For the record: they wuz robbed! The Spanish and the Italians may hate each other, but the Spanish ref proved continental Europe sticks together when it really counts...

Monday Musings

Some days the world is more interesting than others - well at least it appears that way:

• England beat the banana capital this morning, ironically with a Beckham banana kick. There really is no one who can bend it like Beckham and I have to say I was pleased for the guy. Its great to see someone succeed at something where they have a special gift - he's been getting such a hiding in the UK press that it was good to see him come right - after all what else has he got to fall back on? OK I guess I asked for the inevitable comment...
• The ultimate utility vehicle has to be the Rover soft top I saw in Panmure today. You wouldn't think you could get a washing machine in the back seat. But you can. Just take the top down and in she goes!
• The otter from Auckland zoo is still loose! This is a more dripping drama (sorry I meant gripping) than the P addict of a few weeks back. But here's the cool thing - the very DOC worker responsible for capturing this wild beast, was the lucky recipient of a visit from the said furry friend just last week - he appeared in the guy's driveway! This is the start of an arch rivalry on the same level as Superman and Lex Luthor...or maybe Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny...Brian Tamaki and G. Beyer...

Maybe its just me?